Conflict Management: F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

      We all “forgive and forget” the little things when it comes to our close friends. After a conflict with a close friend we often find ourselves able to accept their apology because we don’t want to lose that friendship over something insignificant. All our close friendships have endured a conflict of some sort, when resolving the conflict there are apologies exchanged marking the resolution. However, when we feel the apology received in insincere, there is a chance the conflict will continue.  The key to ending a conflict is when forgiveness is given in response to the apology. For close friends to move on and learn from their previous conflict forgiveness must be reciprocated, if not the conflict may continue to arise hurting the friendship and eventually ending the friendship.  If we were in conflict with our closest friend about them breaking yet another promise, we would consider they have apologized multiple times but they continue to do so. We may not feel obligated to fu

Have you ever had one of your close friends introduce you to one of their new friends, and at first everything’s smooth then the tables turn and you just hate to see them coming? You know, like that one person that every time your friend brings them around there’s a damper on your parade because the night is bound to go wrong because of them.  Or the person who seems to try to dictate the plans every time they come along?  Oh, I’m sorry I was getting a little carried away! Let me go grab a drink and I’ll be right back.  Ok, I’m back! Well if you couldn’t tell, I’ve personally had to deal with this before.  Now if you’ve ever had to deal with this and you aren’t sure how to deal with it then you’ve came to the right place.  I’m going to tell you how to manage conflict with the “third party”.  Now, I can talk to you all about my personal experience with my close friend and the friend she introduced me to (also known as the third-party friend).  When I was first introduced to

         In the previous post, we discussed the role computer-mediated communication—particularly Snapchat—plays on communication in long-distance friendships.   However, using such means of communication isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just best in moderation.   Face to face communication still trumps all other modes of keeping in contact with your friend from afar, but it is important to recognize how technology can easily heighten a source of conflict in this friendship.   Fall semester, freshman year, I went home nearly every weekend.   I was still establishing relationships at college, but hadn’t found my niche quite yet.   Plus, to be honest, going home was easier.   I only lived 45 minutes away, my family always had home-cooked meals for me to eat, and my best friend—who lives 12 minutes away from my house—was living at home and going to community college at the time.   Going home was advantageous for me; I saw my family and best friend nearly every week!   You see,

I don’t know about you, but when I saw my best friends from home making new friends in college I would get so pissed.   This bitterness was mainly due to the fact that Randolph-Macon decides to begin their school year in the last week of August/first week of September, while at that point all of my friends from home began their school years during the first week of August.   I had to spend my last weeks of summer alone at home, and my friends didn’t even seem to care as they flaunted all of their new friends on Instagram. This was an internal conflict I was experiencing that was due to the fact that I didn't understand the need for these new friendships yet.    When my move in day finally arrived, I was more scared than I have had been in my life.   I didn’t know a single soul on campus.   However, my OL facilitated the building of friendships during the Orientation process.   I quickly became more comfortable when he introduced the idea that “everyone was in the same boat”.

            During my time in high-school and college, I have had three jobs.  I worked for my grandfather’s contracting company, I worked for Vacation Bible School at my grandparent’s church, and I have worked in the Brock Center during my four years at Randolph-Macon.  In each of these jobs, I found that the friends I made became like a family and because of this I would look forward to coming to work.  The few times I was in conflict with co-workers, it was usually just that we were tired of seeing each other too much and not that one of us was promoted, one of us was a kiss-up or backstabber.  The article “The Effects of Social Support on Work-Family Enhancement and Work-Family Conflict in the Public Sector” by Lori L. Wadsworth and Bradley P. Owens discusses the effect of workplace friends on work environment and the possible conflicts that could happen.  In these jobs, the friends I made became like a family and it helped on days where I did not want to work.             How