How many of you readers have a friend that “lives far enough away [that you are unable to] interact with him or her on a daily basis because of physical distance”?[1] Okay, perfect. Now how many of you use social media as your main form of communication with them to keep in touch? A lot of you? Good! Then this is the blog for you.
So sit back and relax, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb”—you’ll thank me later—and prepare to learn about the impact social media can have on long distance friendships and how it relates to your far-away-BFF and you.
Comfy? Good. Now, below is a link to a very interesting article on the dangers of a popular app called Snapchat regarding teenagers and their friendships. Go ahead, click the link and read.
Perfect, you made it back here safe and sound. Okay, so in the article above, Jacob Shamsian—a journalist from Business Insider—explains that teenagers are obsessed with Snapchat and its Snapstreaks. This journalist points out that “Snapchat is the most popular platform among teenagers” and is “commonly used as a communication tool” [2] among their friends. But what about you? What form of social media do you use to keep in touch with your friend? Facebook? Instagram? Keep that tucked away, we’ll come back to this later.
Okay, back to the article, Shamsian argues that teenagers are encouraged to use this mode of communication through rewards such as Snapstreaks—a number that keeps track of how many days the two friends have sent Snapchats back and forth—and emoji’s to indicate how high that friend is ranked on your friends list. He then suggests that Snapchatting and Snapstreaks are quickly becoming the foundation of friendships amongst teenagers.[3] However, not only do these young people use Snapchat to determine the value of a friendship, they place an immense amount of pressure on each other to keep that streak alive. In one of Shamsian’s interviews, one teenager said “I get mad [when a friend breaks a streak] because it actually takes time [to] get the numbers.”[4]
According to this article, teenagers invest a great majority of their time into social media and rely on it heavily when maintaining friendships. But does strictly using Snapchat to send pictures to your friends qualify as a healthy friendship?
Let’s be honest, at this point in the blog you’re probably thinking, “That article was extremely biased.” Maybe you thought he made some good points, maybe you didn’t. However, I would propose that despite being anti-Snapchat, Shamsian brought to light some great questions: does social media really play that much of a role on friendships? And if so, is all social media a negative thing when using it to communicate with a long-distance friend? And I would argue, “Yes and no—all in moderation.”
Maintaining long distance friendships can be a struggle for sure—particularly with college-aged friends. In fact, much of research regarding this topic is targeted towards such age groups.[5] Not only are college students away from their high school friends for a significant period of time, now they have to make a conscious effort to communicate with said-friends. However, luckily (or not so luckily… depending on the situation) our generation is proficient in technology. We use social media nearly 24/7 and relationships have been considered easier to maintain because of the easily accessible tools to communicate with friends. Research even suggests that some scholars believe that using social media for communication purposes—computer-mediated communication—actually reduces the impact of physical distance between two friends.[6] That sounds good right? Once again, I will answer, “It depends.”
Computer-mediated communication is a great way to keep in contact with your long distance friend for sure. However, the source of conflict arises when the usage of social media as a communication tool trumps face-to-face communication. Typically, face-to-face interactions elicit more emotions in conversation, intimate topics, and self-disclosure—therefore nurturing a deep friendship.[7] By using social media, deep friendships aren’t impossible, but it never outweighs face-to-face interactions and its benefits.
So yes, using social media—including Facebook, Snapchat, texting, Instagram, etc.—is helpful in maintaining your relationship with your long distance friend, but when push comes to shove, never opt out of hanging out face-to-face. It’ll be worth your while.
-Nicole Wood
-Nicole Wood
[1] Brody, N., (2013). “Absence—and Mediated Communication—Makes the Heart Grow Fonder: Clarifying the Predictors of Satisfaction and Commitment in Long-Distance Friendships,” Communication Research Reports, 30(4), pp. 3232-332. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/08824096.2013.837388
[2] Shamsian, J. (2016, December 15). “Teens are obsessed with this one Snapchat score that can make or break friendships,” Business Insider. Retrieved April 18, 2017 from http://www.businessinsider.com/teens-are-obsessed-with-snap-streaks-on-snapchat-2016-12
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Johnson, A. J., Becker, J. A., Craig, E. A., Gilchrist, E. S., & Haigh, M. M. (2009). Changes in friendship commitment: Comparing geographically close and long-distance young-adult friendships. Communication Quarterly, 57(4), 395-415. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/01463370903313430
[6] Wang, H. (2004). Self-Disclosure In Long-Distance Friendships: A Comparison Between Face-To-Face And Computer-Mediated Communication (Doctoral dissertation, San Diego State University). http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~hwang23/Research/JournalArticles/HuaWangMasterThesis.PDF
[7] Ibid.,12-16